When we compare ourselves and our achievements to others it can be tempting to become despondent. I have recently been around people who seem to be doing really well, starting new businesses, decorating their homes, planning vacations – being successful.
I had a depressing moment of comparison and it seems that poor little old me didn’t stack up very well. Not written a blog post in months, no new videos, haven’t been running for ages. It’s June and I haven’t even been to the beach or had my toes done! Should I just admit defeat and go hide in a corner? If you have ever felt like this, let me help you to see the other side of the story.
Everything is about balance and although I strongly encourage momentum to achieve goals. There are times when we have to step back and accept that we need time for self-care or family or whatever pressing immediate need that is overtaking our lives. Powering through is a common theme especially in entrepreneurial circles, a mantra that can be seductive and dangerous. There are points in our lives when circumstances mean we have to take a break and be present where we are and not where everyone else is.
If you are not living the life that your friends are. If your Facebook or Instagram feed lacks glamorous dinners, travel, success stories or whatever you might wish you had going on. Look at what you need to do to get back on track. It might be to sleep more, spend time with friends, read a book, eat better, even binge watch some TV. Last year I had some serious technical issues and one day spent 16 hours straight trying to get my corrupted website back up. Last week I managed to fix a problem in minutes, because I was rested and not working in overwhelm. Also be prepared to ask for help. (which I honestly still find difficult.)
These are some of the ways I have got myself back feeling like myself after a busy, overwhelming and emotional time recently.
I have let go of my habit of reading only for self-help or business books and read a number of more light-hearted works of fiction.
I have binge watched a couple of TV series. Versailles and Bloodline if you were wondering.
Taking long and relaxing epsom salt baths while watching British Soap Operas.
Time both alone and with our foster dog.
Though I aspire to be a minimalist I do like to buy new things and sometimes find the act of browsing fulfills the need without actually purchasing anything.
I love finding homes for things I no longer have use for. Being able to find what I need quickly is also a bonus.
I realized I hadn’t put time spent with friends on the list. We all handle our stressful times differently and for me I like to be alone and process information and emotions. You may find that being surrounded by people is helpful.
That is why it is important to do what we know is best for us and be prepared to adjust if it is no longer working. Listen to your own gut feeling on what you need, again comparison with others is not helpful.
Allowing a time out has brought my energy back. I have finally begun to write my book. I am taking clients again. Maybe I will even have a run this weekend. I am not looking at the lives of others with envy. Fresh perspective can allow us to be joyful in the success of others. And remember, if as the saying goes, ‘We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with’, we want to surround ourselves with people who are doing well!
Please share your story, what do you do when things do not seem to be going your way?
I would love to hear from you whether in the comments here or come join my Facebook group for regular uplifting and inspirational content.